scrappin', yellin' & mixin' it up
words from 111 archer avenue.
welcome. click the tabs to browse around.
i always wanted to be a tenenbaum
you, know?
i am a twenty-three year old darling girl.
i am not married, i have no children, and i didn't graduate from college. but..
i draw birds and robots; i read books; i laugh till i cry; i love until my heart bursts; i sometimes paint my face or arms with stripes if i'm bored; i create; i play guitar.
i am not impressive, but i am me.
i am addicted to Jesus Christ. He never stops loving, never stops giving, and there is always more of Him. He is the perfect addiction. no one else can satisfy.
These are all just mostly vague details. If you want me, come find me. But, I promise, at the very least, you'll think I'm nice.
things i like
(and i like a lot of things).
museums.//
theme parks.//
zoos.//
aquariums.//
road trips.//
naps.//
reading, and lots of reading. especially in unconventional places.//
being silly.//
going to goodwill to find hidden treasures.//
traveling.//
new things.//
vintage things. record players, records, old cameras, old radios, vintage clothes, etc.//
learning new things.//
exploring new places.//
building forts out of pillows and/or blankets.//
getting mail.//
finding new ways to stay organized.//
old books that smell like yummy old books.//
the smell of colored pencils, and crayons.//
the internet, for without it, i might not have some very great friends that i love so dearly.//
squirrels.//
musicals.//
live plays.//
daisies, and trees.//
thai food.//
laughing.//
socks.//
people you meet that are so amazing they make you strive for greatness, not in competition, but just out of the pure fact that you've seen potential, and was found to be wasting yours.//
living a simple life.//
holding hands.//
the rare moments in life where i don't feel self conscious.//
watching home videos.//
hideabeds.//
thrift stores the size of target.//
target for that matter.//
poking people in the nose and saying "beep" at the same time.//
candles and lanterns and kerosene lamps.//
cupcakes.//
showers, washing my hands, and brushing my teeth.//
sitting on rooftops.//
the feel of new shirts.//
warm, summer nights.//
making things for people.//
old shoes from friends.//
macaroni and cheese.//
having great times of talk with God.//
organic, antibiotic-free, preservative-free, artificial flavoring/color-free, no refined sugar or grain food. (just the way God intended.)//
love.
things i listen to
currently:
death cab for cutie. feist. animal collective. modest mouse. owen. iron & wine. mother mother. eisley. her space holiday. school of seven bells. dear and the headlights. the weepies. arcade fire. the format.
and when my heart needs to beatt-pain. rhianna. jay-z. kanye west. flo-rida. ne-yo. justin timberlake. (all hopefully edited.)
things i watch
when life slows for a moment.
the office. my boys. saturday night live. arrested development.
cinema light
that makes my heart glow
the royal tenenbaums. dedication. juno. stranger than fiction. hook. eternal sunshine.
garden state. empire of the sun. caddyshack. ghostbusters. jurassic park. closer. iron giant.
turner & hooch. an affair to remember. eagle vs. shark. lars and the real girl. pineapple express.
the life aquatic. (500) days of summer. the hangover. up.
and in all honesty, avatar in 3D was pretty amazing.
paper and ink
with feelings and thought
cars & trucks & things that go - richard scarry
little bear - maurice sendak
the giving tree - shel silverstein
the quietest cricket - eric carle
there is a monster at the end of this book - grover
crazylove - francis chan
awake - erwin raphael mcmanus
seizing your divine moment - erwin raphael mcmanus
the journey towards relevance - kary oberbrunner
no compromise - melody green
but you can't raise boys to be scared of life.
You got to brew some recklessness into them.
The Lord has always been the One who stirs hearts to give of their resources and primarily I am asking Him to
stir up those who will financially sow as partners with His kingdom advancing in and through my life.
Please take time to prayerfully consider becoming a monthly financial partner, allowing the Lord to pour through you, as He is the Source of all provision.
One-time donations are
very helpful. Relational monthly partners who want to share in what God is doing in and through my life will provide enabling to focus wholeheartedly on His Word and His ways.
If you want to use another method besides paypal to help donate, let me know.
Contributions made directly to me are "love contributions," and are NOT tax deductible.
the archives
click to read back through the years.
2010
2009 (may and after - there's a weird glitch)
2009 (january-april)
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
sigh.
Sunday, June 3, 2007 @ 8:19 PM
i'm sorry.
i'm so so sorry.
for everything.
always.
i'm sorry that i wasn't in love with you.
i'm sorry that i'm still not in love with you.
i don't know what to do.
i don't know what to do.
i don't know what to do.
i don't know what to do.
i don't know what to do.
i don't know what to do.
i don't know what to do.
i miss you.
you were my best friend.
and i miss you.
so terribly.
so violently.
so very, very much.
and we can't be friends.
until you can get over me.
and it sounds so full of pride and so selfish and conceited when i say that.
we broke up in may. the second week in may. possibly the eleventh. i can't remember.
may. may was almost 4 months ago.
and here you are.
still in love with me.
right where i left you.
my little japanese umbrella.
i could leave you on a corner and come back in three years, and there you'd be.
right where i left you.
we're 1800 miles away. eighteen hundred miles away. i talk to you as little as i possibly can. maybe once every month. maybe once every month. you don't see me, you don't hear me, you don't touch me, kiss me, hold me, and yet you still love me. i can't get away from you, and your thoughts and your heart even if i wanted to. i can't disappear from you, your thoughts, and your heart.
you.
your thoughts.
your heart.
stuck with me.
my thoughts.
my heart.
my dear boy.
what am i to do with you?
i need you, i miss you.
you need me, you miss me.
i'm sorry i made you cry.
i'm sorry my crying made you cry.
you cried longer than i did.
i'm glad you did.
i think you needed to release it.
but i have to admit i didn't know what to do.
i still don't know what to do.
i just don't know what to do.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i miss you.
i want to hold you and touch you and kiss you and fix you and mend your heart and make everything right. i would choose a miserable life in order to make yours better. but that is not what is right.
and that is not what God has for either of us.
we suffer from fatal incapability. only in the place between dreaming and awake are we allowed to be together.
i am not your girl. and you are not my boy. and that, my sweet darling, is where we must let things be.
i'm sorry.
i'm so so sorry.
for everything.
always.
0 comments
read it back to me, pietro.
good reads or good websites.
Team Van Voorst - Paige updates her life as wife, mom, and general frugal lady!
LG & Brian Alsbury - LisaGrace writes about being a new wife, matters of the heart, budgets and goals, and general awesome things.
Changing Again - Insight to Danielle's crazy world.
The Alexanders - Jess and Mike moved to Japan. Here is their side of the world.
Simple Mom - A great website devoted to simplicity.
Remodeling This Life. - Simple. Frugal. Fabulous. (She did an AMAZING home remodel based soley on cash.)
Mint - The EASIEST, most-AMAZING, FREE way to build a budget.
design*sponge. - Creative and original design ideas.
Organizing Your Way. - A personalized approach to decluttering your life.
SmittenKitchen - Seriously some of the BEST recipes i've ever come across. SO awesome.
go, mordecai!
good buys.
rare bird finds. - a collection of unique items.
fredflare! - a shop full of fun and functionality.
[etsy] - if you want anything handmade or vintage, look here.
mighty goods. - an updated collection of fun things.
threadless. - tshirts designed by everyday people.
raygun. - formerly smash, this is an independant shop in des moines that specializes in awesome shirts.
wildcat. wild...cat.
other good websites.
questionable content. - my favorite webcomic by jeph jacques. (contains swearing and adult situations.)
postsecret. - updated every sunday, this blog contains secrets sent in by individuals all over the world.
cute overload. - bad day? stare at picture of cute things. it helps.
is that a tic-tac?
layout credit.
Design : everlastingroses!
Inspiration : indreamsmaybe
Image : swimchick