scrappin', yellin' & mixin' it up
words from 111 archer avenue.
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i always wanted to be a tenenbaum
you, know?
i am a twenty-three year old darling girl.
i am not married, i have no children, and i didn't graduate from college. but..
i draw birds and robots; i read books; i laugh till i cry; i love until my heart bursts; i sometimes paint my face or arms with stripes if i'm bored; i create; i play guitar. i am not impressive, but i am me.
i am addicted to Jesus Christ. He never stops loving, never stops giving, and there is always more of Him. He is the perfect addiction. no one else can satisfy.
These are all just mostly vague details. If you want me, come find me. But, I promise, at the very least, you'll think I'm nice.
things i like
(and i like a lot of things).
museums.// theme parks.// zoos.// aquariums.// road trips.// naps.// reading, and lots of reading. especially in unconventional places.// being silly.// going to goodwill to find hidden treasures.// traveling.// new things.// vintage things. record players, records, old cameras, old radios, vintage clothes, etc.// learning new things.// exploring new places.// building forts out of pillows and/or blankets.// getting mail.// finding new ways to stay organized.// old books that smell like yummy old books.// the smell of colored pencils, and crayons.// the internet, for without it, i might not have some very great friends that i love so dearly.// squirrels.// musicals.// live plays.// daisies, and trees.// thai food.// laughing.// socks.// people you meet that are so amazing they make you strive for greatness, not in competition, but just out of the pure fact that you've seen potential, and was found to be wasting yours.// living a simple life.// holding hands.// the rare moments in life where i don't feel self conscious.// watching home videos.// hideabeds.// thrift stores the size of target.// target for that matter.// poking people in the nose and saying "beep" at the same time.// candles and lanterns and kerosene lamps.// cupcakes.// showers, washing my hands, and brushing my teeth.// sitting on rooftops.// the feel of new shirts.// warm, summer nights.// making things for people.// old shoes from friends.// macaroni and cheese.// having great times of talk with God.// organic, antibiotic-free, preservative-free, artificial flavoring/color-free, no refined sugar or grain food. (just the way God intended.)// love.
things i listen to
currently:
death cab for cutie. feist. animal collective. modest mouse. owen. iron & wine. mother mother. eisley. her space holiday. school of seven bells. dear and the headlights. the weepies. arcade fire. the format.
and when my heart needs to beat
t-pain. rhianna. jay-z. kanye west. flo-rida. ne-yo. justin timberlake. (all hopefully edited.)
things i watch
when life slows for a moment.
the office. my boys. saturday night live. arrested development.
cinema light
that makes my heart glow
the royal tenenbaums. dedication. juno. stranger than fiction. hook. eternal sunshine. garden state. empire of the sun. caddyshack. ghostbusters. jurassic park. closer. iron giant. turner & hooch. an affair to remember. eagle vs. shark. lars and the real girl. pineapple express. the life aquatic. (500) days of summer. the hangover. up. and in all honesty, avatar in 3D was pretty amazing.
paper and ink
with feelings and thought
cars & trucks & things that go - richard scarry
little bear - maurice sendak
the giving tree - shel silverstein
the quietest cricket - eric carle
there is a monster at the end of this book - grover
crazylove - francis chan
awake - erwin raphael mcmanus
seizing your divine moment - erwin raphael mcmanus
the journey towards relevance - kary oberbrunner
no compromise - melody green
but you can't raise boys to be scared of life.
You got to brew some recklessness into them.
The Lord has always been the One who stirs hearts to give of their resources and primarily I am asking Him to stir up those who will financially sow as partners with His kingdom advancing in and through my life.
Please take time to prayerfully consider becoming a monthly financial partner, allowing the Lord to pour through you, as He is the Source of all provision.
One-time donations are very helpful. Relational monthly partners who want to share in what God is doing in and through my life will provide enabling to focus wholeheartedly on His Word and His ways.
If you want to use another method besides paypal to help donate, let me know.
Contributions made directly to me are "love contributions," and are NOT tax deductible.
the archives
click to read back through the years.
2009 (may and after - there's a weird glitch)
2009 (january-april)
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
that's all.
Sunday, June 1, 2008 @ 2:54 PM
i've got such a crush on phil collins. i'm sure that's inappropriate in some small sense.
i'm addicted to the video for that's all.
it's so good.
seriously.
also good:
disaronno with coke.
not nearly as good with pepsi.. too sweet.
but i bought a bottle. probably my second worst financial decision since Joely.
i need milk really, really badly. and i've got very little to survive on for the next two weeks.
but i just paid rent, (more or less.. just dropped the check off) and heading up to my sister's for the mandatory ya-tec meetings sucked the life out of the little $115 i actually had from my paycheck after i calculated rent. 40 in gas... 30 in gas... 20 for oil change... then another 20 for that darned beautiful disaronno. i'll be lucky if i'm not in the red. poor, irresponsible move on my part.
i still need milk is the issue. i could put it on my credit card, but i hate doing that. i'm trying to pay it off, not put more on it.
oh well, these are the consequences for my actions that i willingly performed. what are you gonna do, eh?
also, it's gonna be a low funds month anyway. with the time i had to take off last friday, then i have part of the 12th i need off, and then friday and monday.
i could use my little vacation time or whatever.. but really, i just wanna save it for something good. like my sister and i's trip to colorado. if that is even a possibility anymore.
do you ever have a wave of emotion come over you?
like wow...
right now, i just miss someone, anyone, everyone.
i'm suddenly overwhelmed with sadness and loneliness.
where the frick did that come from?
honestly...
it has been a day of exes, let me tell you what.
phone conversations, then looking at old pictures.
it's torture.
not in the "what could have been" sense.. like i'm sad about all of it, just more a ... longing regret? i suppose? kind of like, "wish i wouldn't have if i would have known" type of thing, or a sadness from a loss of a great friendship.
it's really bizarre to be so close to someone for so long.. then have years go by. and here you are looking at them as if they were a complete stranger. your brain can't process it and your heart can never be prepared for it, so your main organs shut down until it's your stomach calling the shots and then that just leaves you empty and feeling sick.
honestly, though.
why bother with even attempting to date anyone.
J.D. made a good point in my favorite episode of scrubs (my bed, banter, and beyond). he says something to the extent of "i wish you didn't have to be friends with your girlfriend."
i wish there was some way to not be friends with the people you were dating. you become friends, you get involved, and it all falls to pieces with either both of you covered in shrapnel, or one of you picking up small pieces of what ever remains of your friendship and attempting to run them under cold water in hopes that you just might salvage something that looks like a small sort of a friendship.
but it all ends the same.
the small talk.
the loose hugs.
the fake emotional response when you start talking.
no one ever wants to be friends once the emotion is out the window. which, who can blame 'em. it's awkward as hell for the first few bits which could be anywhere from a few months to a few years. then after that, you don't even know who they are anymore, or they've changed so much anyway, that it's just even hard trying to force a friendship with two people who don't exist.
which, really, i think is the main problem of friends after dating. you change, your morph, skins thicker, minds different. the person you were friends with prior to dating isn't the same person at the end of it. so you're trying to mirror what you used to have with someone entirely different. it'd be like if david spade got a fat sidekick again. it wouldn't make any sense, and it wouldn't work out because it wouldn't be chris farley. it'd be someone else that looked the same, and talked the same, and acted the same, but so much would be different.
does that make any sense?
but so much of me still longs to go back in time. warn myself of impending doom. whisper in my own ear "don't. just turn around. walk away. keep what you have."
when is it worth risking a friendship so great for a love so small?
is there a time and a place where you sit down and go, "well. i'll take that risk."
who could ever be that foolish?
i don't know. this is just my usual incessant ramblings about nothing. my blogs are like a more clever, less inappropriate, actually funny version of seinfeld. a blog about nothing.
though..
i just...
i just wish things were different.
with you, with him, with them.
i would have never changed us for the world if i would have known that this would be how awful it feels. with every one of them. a small bit of me still stings in thought every one. like a broken neuron that randomly fires now and again.
relationships are stupid.
fair enough?
are they really worth all that trouble?
i suppose we will see.
goodnight friends.
love,
Jeska. 0 comments
read it back to me, pietro.
good reads or good websites.
Team Van Voorst - Paige updates her life as wife, mom, and general frugal lady!
LG & Brian Alsbury - LisaGrace writes about being a new wife, matters of the heart, budgets and goals, and general awesome things.
Changing Again - Insight to Danielle's crazy world.
The Alexanders - Jess and Mike moved to Japan. Here is their side of the world.
Simple Mom - A great website devoted to simplicity.
Remodeling This Life. - Simple. Frugal. Fabulous. (She did an AMAZING home remodel based soley on cash.)
Mint - The EASIEST, most-AMAZING, FREE way to build a budget.
design*sponge. - Creative and original design ideas.
Organizing Your Way. - A personalized approach to decluttering your life.
SmittenKitchen - Seriously some of the BEST recipes i've ever come across. SO awesome.
go, mordecai!
good buys.
rare bird finds. - a collection of unique items.
fredflare! - a shop full of fun and functionality.
[etsy] - if you want anything handmade or vintage, look here.
mighty goods. - an updated collection of fun things.
threadless. - tshirts designed by everyday people.
raygun. - formerly smash, this is an independant shop in des moines that specializes in awesome shirts.
wildcat. wild...cat.
other good websites.
questionable content. - my favorite webcomic by jeph jacques. (contains swearing and adult situations.)
postsecret. - updated every sunday, this blog contains secrets sent in by individuals all over the world.
cute overload. - bad day? stare at picture of cute things. it helps.
is that a tic-tac?
layout credit.
Design : everlastingroses!
Inspiration : indreamsmaybe
Image : swimchick