scrappin', yellin' & mixin' it up
words from 111 archer avenue.
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i always wanted to be a tenenbaum
you, know?
i am a twenty-three year old darling girl.
i am not married, i have no children, and i didn't graduate from college. but..
i draw birds and robots; i read books; i laugh till i cry; i love until my heart bursts; i sometimes paint my face or arms with stripes if i'm bored; i create; i play guitar. i am not impressive, but i am me.
i am addicted to Jesus Christ. He never stops loving, never stops giving, and there is always more of Him. He is the perfect addiction. no one else can satisfy.
These are all just mostly vague details. If you want me, come find me. But, I promise, at the very least, you'll think I'm nice.
things i like
(and i like a lot of things).
museums.// theme parks.// zoos.// aquariums.// road trips.// naps.// reading, and lots of reading. especially in unconventional places.// being silly.// going to goodwill to find hidden treasures.// traveling.// new things.// vintage things. record players, records, old cameras, old radios, vintage clothes, etc.// learning new things.// exploring new places.// building forts out of pillows and/or blankets.// getting mail.// finding new ways to stay organized.// old books that smell like yummy old books.// the smell of colored pencils, and crayons.// the internet, for without it, i might not have some very great friends that i love so dearly.// squirrels.// musicals.// live plays.// daisies, and trees.// thai food.// laughing.// socks.// people you meet that are so amazing they make you strive for greatness, not in competition, but just out of the pure fact that you've seen potential, and was found to be wasting yours.// living a simple life.// holding hands.// the rare moments in life where i don't feel self conscious.// watching home videos.// hideabeds.// thrift stores the size of target.// target for that matter.// poking people in the nose and saying "beep" at the same time.// candles and lanterns and kerosene lamps.// cupcakes.// showers, washing my hands, and brushing my teeth.// sitting on rooftops.// the feel of new shirts.// warm, summer nights.// making things for people.// old shoes from friends.// macaroni and cheese.// having great times of talk with God.// organic, antibiotic-free, preservative-free, artificial flavoring/color-free, no refined sugar or grain food. (just the way God intended.)// love.
things i listen to
currently:
death cab for cutie. feist. animal collective. modest mouse. owen. iron & wine. mother mother. eisley. her space holiday. school of seven bells. dear and the headlights. the weepies. arcade fire. the format.
and when my heart needs to beat
t-pain. rhianna. jay-z. kanye west. flo-rida. ne-yo. justin timberlake. (all hopefully edited.)
things i watch
when life slows for a moment.
the office. my boys. saturday night live. arrested development.
cinema light
that makes my heart glow
the royal tenenbaums. dedication. juno. stranger than fiction. hook. eternal sunshine. garden state. empire of the sun. caddyshack. ghostbusters. jurassic park. closer. iron giant. turner & hooch. an affair to remember. eagle vs. shark. lars and the real girl. pineapple express. the life aquatic. (500) days of summer. the hangover. up. and in all honesty, avatar in 3D was pretty amazing.
paper and ink
with feelings and thought
cars & trucks & things that go - richard scarry
little bear - maurice sendak
the giving tree - shel silverstein
the quietest cricket - eric carle
there is a monster at the end of this book - grover
crazylove - francis chan
awake - erwin raphael mcmanus
seizing your divine moment - erwin raphael mcmanus
the journey towards relevance - kary oberbrunner
no compromise - melody green
but you can't raise boys to be scared of life.
You got to brew some recklessness into them.
The Lord has always been the One who stirs hearts to give of their resources and primarily I am asking Him to stir up those who will financially sow as partners with His kingdom advancing in and through my life.
Please take time to prayerfully consider becoming a monthly financial partner, allowing the Lord to pour through you, as He is the Source of all provision.
One-time donations are very helpful. Relational monthly partners who want to share in what God is doing in and through my life will provide enabling to focus wholeheartedly on His Word and His ways.
If you want to use another method besides paypal to help donate, let me know.
Contributions made directly to me are "love contributions," and are NOT tax deductible.
the archives
click to read back through the years.
2009 (may and after - there's a weird glitch)
2009 (january-april)
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
into dust.
Monday, October 13, 2008 @ 11:33 PM
it's been awhile since i've written on here.
perhaps i've lost my spark. it's not that i'm too busy or anything.
i just don't feel like i have as much to say as i previously did.
and all i have to say so far is that i wish going to work sick wasn't just an act to impress coworkers and supervisors into thinking you're really dedicated to your job. all it does is make everyone else sick and make everyone else have to come in when they're sick just to measure up.
i think i'm picking up the flu. but i have to go into work because that's what everyone's been doing lately.
i just wish there was a straight code for when you could and couldn't be there.
i don't know. it's just frustrating.
plus, i've already been sick for three weeks straight now with a cold which is either now bronchitis or pneumonia. so i'd really like a break from being exhausted all the time.
i take prenatal vitamins (to counter the fact that i'm fairly sure i have super low counts of iron), b12, and 1000mg of vitamin C. none of it works or makes me feel any better. or, not that i've noticed.
i just can't wait till the 31st shows up. my last day at work. it'll be lovely but heartbreaking all at the same time. if i move up to PS1, that's another matter. i'm sure i'll like it... but at this point i'm not sure i want to try and relearn another room. i just need a break from kids. i have (hopefully) an interview lined up shortly. a woman from americinn (so lame.) called and wanted to schedule something and i called her voicemail back and said that i'd love to set up something either before/after work or on the weekends. it'd be for front desk and hopefully they'd pay me enough. then i could go back to school at least part time and get some homework done during down times. who knows. God will provide. i know he will. i just can't continue working in our homebase. i adore every one of our children. which even more so is why i have to leave. but it will be extremely difficult. if i did get the americinn job, i'd almost want to say that i'll start the second week of november. give myself a week off. just chill out, perhaps drive home for a week. just a week to de-stress, decompose, deconstruct, debrief, defuse, destroy who i was and decide to be someone different. all those things.
side point: what is the point of doing 8 loads of laundry and washing your sheets when you have no energy to put the clothes away or put the sheets back on your bed? it's night two of sleeping on my mattress pad w/my uncovered comforter. i know it's yucky, but you have to understand i'm exhausted. i'm beginning to think i really do have mono. who knows.
i just wish i wasn't exhausted all the time, and i feel sick constantly. i hate saying it or talking about it because i'm beginning to think that people don't believe me. and that's really frustrating. it makes me feel like i'm crazy. and i'm not crazy, damnit. i'm just someone who for some odd reason feels awful almost all of the time. it's really frustrating.
but, what isn't anymore?
i'm just tired of fighting for a lost cause, you know?
tired of pushing myself into tomorrow because i trick myself into believing it'll be better.
well, trick is the wrong word. i know it will be better sometime. i know there are days waiting for me when i feel normal and healthy. the Bible says that God has provided those days for me. but it's just adding to my exhaustion by having every day be worse than the next.
even more so, this is why i'm hoping for a new job. a breath of fresh air. something different.
God will provide. i know he will. i just have to keep holding on to that, even if i have to force myself into tomorrow. just a few more seconds. few more minutes. few more hours, days, weeks. every breath brings me closer to something better. i can feel it. it'd just be nice to have a temporary boost before that day comes. i'm slowly turning into dust. 1 comments
read it back to me, pietro.
good reads or good websites.
Team Van Voorst - Paige updates her life as wife, mom, and general frugal lady!
LG & Brian Alsbury - LisaGrace writes about being a new wife, matters of the heart, budgets and goals, and general awesome things.
Changing Again - Insight to Danielle's crazy world.
The Alexanders - Jess and Mike moved to Japan. Here is their side of the world.
Simple Mom - A great website devoted to simplicity.
Remodeling This Life. - Simple. Frugal. Fabulous. (She did an AMAZING home remodel based soley on cash.)
Mint - The EASIEST, most-AMAZING, FREE way to build a budget.
design*sponge. - Creative and original design ideas.
Organizing Your Way. - A personalized approach to decluttering your life.
SmittenKitchen - Seriously some of the BEST recipes i've ever come across. SO awesome.
go, mordecai!
good buys.
rare bird finds. - a collection of unique items.
fredflare! - a shop full of fun and functionality.
[etsy] - if you want anything handmade or vintage, look here.
mighty goods. - an updated collection of fun things.
threadless. - tshirts designed by everyday people.
raygun. - formerly smash, this is an independant shop in des moines that specializes in awesome shirts.
wildcat. wild...cat.
other good websites.
questionable content. - my favorite webcomic by jeph jacques. (contains swearing and adult situations.)
postsecret. - updated every sunday, this blog contains secrets sent in by individuals all over the world.
cute overload. - bad day? stare at picture of cute things. it helps.
is that a tic-tac?
layout credit.
Design : everlastingroses!
Inspiration : indreamsmaybe
Image : swimchick