scrappin', yellin' & mixin' it up
words from 111 archer avenue.
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i always wanted to be a tenenbaum
you, know?
i am a twenty-three year old darling girl.
i am not married, i have no children, and i didn't graduate from college. but..
i draw birds and robots; i read books; i laugh till i cry; i love until my heart bursts; i sometimes paint my face or arms with stripes if i'm bored; i create; i play guitar. i am not impressive, but i am me.
i am addicted to Jesus Christ. He never stops loving, never stops giving, and there is always more of Him. He is the perfect addiction. no one else can satisfy.
These are all just mostly vague details. If you want me, come find me. But, I promise, at the very least, you'll think I'm nice.
things i like
(and i like a lot of things).
museums.// theme parks.// zoos.// aquariums.// road trips.// naps.// reading, and lots of reading. especially in unconventional places.// being silly.// going to goodwill to find hidden treasures.// traveling.// new things.// vintage things. record players, records, old cameras, old radios, vintage clothes, etc.// learning new things.// exploring new places.// building forts out of pillows and/or blankets.// getting mail.// finding new ways to stay organized.// old books that smell like yummy old books.// the smell of colored pencils, and crayons.// the internet, for without it, i might not have some very great friends that i love so dearly.// squirrels.// musicals.// live plays.// daisies, and trees.// thai food.// laughing.// socks.// people you meet that are so amazing they make you strive for greatness, not in competition, but just out of the pure fact that you've seen potential, and was found to be wasting yours.// living a simple life.// holding hands.// the rare moments in life where i don't feel self conscious.// watching home videos.// hideabeds.// thrift stores the size of target.// target for that matter.// poking people in the nose and saying "beep" at the same time.// candles and lanterns and kerosene lamps.// cupcakes.// showers, washing my hands, and brushing my teeth.// sitting on rooftops.// the feel of new shirts.// warm, summer nights.// making things for people.// old shoes from friends.// macaroni and cheese.// having great times of talk with God.// organic, antibiotic-free, preservative-free, artificial flavoring/color-free, no refined sugar or grain food. (just the way God intended.)// love.
things i listen to
currently:
death cab for cutie. feist. animal collective. modest mouse. owen. iron & wine. mother mother. eisley. her space holiday. school of seven bells. dear and the headlights. the weepies. arcade fire. the format.
and when my heart needs to beat
t-pain. rhianna. jay-z. kanye west. flo-rida. ne-yo. justin timberlake. (all hopefully edited.)
things i watch
when life slows for a moment.
the office. my boys. saturday night live. arrested development.
cinema light
that makes my heart glow
the royal tenenbaums. dedication. juno. stranger than fiction. hook. eternal sunshine. garden state. empire of the sun. caddyshack. ghostbusters. jurassic park. closer. iron giant. turner & hooch. an affair to remember. eagle vs. shark. lars and the real girl. pineapple express. the life aquatic. (500) days of summer. the hangover. up. and in all honesty, avatar in 3D was pretty amazing.
paper and ink
with feelings and thought
cars & trucks & things that go - richard scarry
little bear - maurice sendak
the giving tree - shel silverstein
the quietest cricket - eric carle
there is a monster at the end of this book - grover
crazylove - francis chan
awake - erwin raphael mcmanus
seizing your divine moment - erwin raphael mcmanus
the journey towards relevance - kary oberbrunner
no compromise - melody green
but you can't raise boys to be scared of life.
You got to brew some recklessness into them.
The Lord has always been the One who stirs hearts to give of their resources and primarily I am asking Him to stir up those who will financially sow as partners with His kingdom advancing in and through my life.
Please take time to prayerfully consider becoming a monthly financial partner, allowing the Lord to pour through you, as He is the Source of all provision.
One-time donations are very helpful. Relational monthly partners who want to share in what God is doing in and through my life will provide enabling to focus wholeheartedly on His Word and His ways.
If you want to use another method besides paypal to help donate, let me know.
Contributions made directly to me are "love contributions," and are NOT tax deductible.
the archives
click to read back through the years.
2009 (may and after - there's a weird glitch)
2009 (january-april)
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
once again my thoughts have run away with me.
Saturday, December 20, 2008 @ 11:20 PM
i think my next spiritual step is really surrendering my mind fully to God.
i mean, not that it's not, or that i'm thinking these awful horrendous thoughts, it's just that often my mind wanders into areas that aren't beneficial.
i mean, to clarify again, it's not like my mind wanders into murdering people or running over a bag fulla' puppies. (sad.)
but my mind does often daydream of into areas that make my heart wide open for emotional and mental conquest. and we're called to guard our hearts, for it is the wellspring of life.
far too often my mind wanders away into the dangerous depths of future relationships. it's not healthy for me, and i cannot survive there. perhaps more elaboration is necessary for understanding:
if i'm constantly consumed with planning my romantic life and future with people i'm not destined to be with, people i've just met, fictional characters or whatnot, it's just is going to set myself up for more disappointment.
i'm not sure i'm making any sense.
i mean, i understand myself, because these are my thoughts, my feelings and my convictions.
but i'm not sure of a better way i can clarify this any more.
(sidenote: radiohead's in rainbows is a great album to think to.)
it's like when you first start dating someone and on the third date, you're already planning children's names, deciding what color to paint your dream house shutters, and wondering if james gets to do hockey or dance or both. you know? that's not safe territory.
it seems safe.
it feels safe.
after all, isn't all just puppies and kittens and rainbows and fluffy pink hearts?
so it seems.
but this is treacherous land. similar to being lead by the musical tones of the pied piper, it can quietly call you to your doom.
when you allow yourself to be that unguarded, when your heart is that vulnerable, you're blissfully unaware at what is taking grounds and staking claims for your core. i mean, what if after that third date, you never get that call for a fourth? and weeks go by, and nothing happens.
and here you've created an imaginary marriage with imaginary children that will have to go through a smaller, less intense (though still painful in it's own way) imaginary divorce.
now, i've never experienced divorce. my parents are happily married for thirty odd years, so i could be out of line for saying such a thing. and if so, i apologize and heartily hope you understand i had no intention of offense.
but this is why it's so dangerous. you've built for yourself a very sweet, pretend life on the sand.
and the day it comes crashing down, whether it's when he never calls ever, or when he never calls back, or when that guy that caught your eye doesn't share your interest, there will be a price to pay and a sting to feel.
once again, proverbs 4:23 says, "above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."
the wellspring.
definition: the source of a spring or stream. the source of your life.
suddenly it makes sense why it's all so crucial. guard your heart, or die.
those romantic movies that make girls swoon and dream of their own mr. darcy:
guard your heart, or die.
men are not like mr. darcy. men are not like noah from the notebook. men are not like these fictional characters that have permeated our society. men are human beings, just like you. they will hurt you just like you will hurt them. they're not perfect, just like you. and sometimes the grand hurt will not be drawn to a beautiful reconciliation at the top of swelling strings in a beautiful garden. guard your heart, or die.
this isn't a rant on men, it's not. what can i say, i love 'em. but it is trying to stab a few things that i know myself, as well as other females open ourselves up to. whether is the guy that doesn't call, or the guy that doesn't exist.
and really this has other applications that's not based in romance, but that's just another story. this is just where i am, and what i'm dealing with.
i find that i figure out my own thoughts when i kind of "talk" through them.
we must guard our hearts, or we will die.
there is a more ferocious meaning to that verse than what originally appears when you just graze over it.
anyway. that was just a blip that i had to get out.
i've been all crazy with God lately. it's exciting, but as usual with Him, almost completely terrifying. i've been having dreams that i feel have spiritual weight to them. i think the next few days will be full of many prayers in hopes for understanding. hilarious, you ask God for wisdom and revelation (eph. 1:17), you get it. the last few times i've been deep in prayer, i feel like God has given me prophetic words about people.
honestly, it blows my mind. i need to ask key people a few questions and see if i can get it all sorted out. not that i don't believe it myself, but it's just like, who's to say that what went on in my head wasn't just a figment of my own creation? who's to say it's God telling me these things? but anyway.. so that's all turning out very interesting.
but hey, praise God, i am more than excited to jump into a world of spiritual warfare full of new levels and new challenges. growth is growth.
also, i was just thinking and praying this morning (or last night. i'm not sure. it all blends together anymore.) and i think i prayed something that i shouldn't have. or not shouldn't have.. but it's like when you wish something foolish and realize it the second it comes out of your mouth, but you can't take it back. it makes me nervous. but this is what i blurted out:
"and God give me tragedy so that in it You may shine the brightest. through it may i declare that You are enough. that You are my strength and my portion forever. Blessed be the name of the Lord."
...yikes. that's admittedly a bit terrifying. i'm very glad God isn't a "genie" of sorts. very very glad.
dear friends, please be in prayer for me and with me. it's going to be an interesting ride. 2 comments
read it back to me, pietro.
good reads or good websites.
Team Van Voorst - Paige updates her life as wife, mom, and general frugal lady!
LG & Brian Alsbury - LisaGrace writes about being a new wife, matters of the heart, budgets and goals, and general awesome things.
Changing Again - Insight to Danielle's crazy world.
The Alexanders - Jess and Mike moved to Japan. Here is their side of the world.
Simple Mom - A great website devoted to simplicity.
Remodeling This Life. - Simple. Frugal. Fabulous. (She did an AMAZING home remodel based soley on cash.)
Mint - The EASIEST, most-AMAZING, FREE way to build a budget.
design*sponge. - Creative and original design ideas.
Organizing Your Way. - A personalized approach to decluttering your life.
SmittenKitchen - Seriously some of the BEST recipes i've ever come across. SO awesome.
go, mordecai!
good buys.
rare bird finds. - a collection of unique items.
fredflare! - a shop full of fun and functionality.
[etsy] - if you want anything handmade or vintage, look here.
mighty goods. - an updated collection of fun things.
threadless. - tshirts designed by everyday people.
raygun. - formerly smash, this is an independant shop in des moines that specializes in awesome shirts.
wildcat. wild...cat.
other good websites.
questionable content. - my favorite webcomic by jeph jacques. (contains swearing and adult situations.)
postsecret. - updated every sunday, this blog contains secrets sent in by individuals all over the world.
cute overload. - bad day? stare at picture of cute things. it helps.
is that a tic-tac?
layout credit.
Design : everlastingroses!
Inspiration : indreamsmaybe
Image : swimchick