scrappin', yellin' & mixin' it up
words from 111 archer avenue.
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i always wanted to be a tenenbaum
you, know?
i am a twenty-three year old darling girl.
i am not married, i have no children, and i didn't graduate from college. but..
i draw birds and robots; i read books; i laugh till i cry; i love until my heart bursts; i sometimes paint my face or arms with stripes if i'm bored; i create; i play guitar. i am not impressive, but i am me.
i am addicted to Jesus Christ. He never stops loving, never stops giving, and there is always more of Him. He is the perfect addiction. no one else can satisfy.
These are all just mostly vague details. If you want me, come find me. But, I promise, at the very least, you'll think I'm nice.
things i like
(and i like a lot of things).
museums.// theme parks.// zoos.// aquariums.// road trips.// naps.// reading, and lots of reading. especially in unconventional places.// being silly.// going to goodwill to find hidden treasures.// traveling.// new things.// vintage things. record players, records, old cameras, old radios, vintage clothes, etc.// learning new things.// exploring new places.// building forts out of pillows and/or blankets.// getting mail.// finding new ways to stay organized.// old books that smell like yummy old books.// the smell of colored pencils, and crayons.// the internet, for without it, i might not have some very great friends that i love so dearly.// squirrels.// musicals.// live plays.// daisies, and trees.// thai food.// laughing.// socks.// people you meet that are so amazing they make you strive for greatness, not in competition, but just out of the pure fact that you've seen potential, and was found to be wasting yours.// living a simple life.// holding hands.// the rare moments in life where i don't feel self conscious.// watching home videos.// hideabeds.// thrift stores the size of target.// target for that matter.// poking people in the nose and saying "beep" at the same time.// candles and lanterns and kerosene lamps.// cupcakes.// showers, washing my hands, and brushing my teeth.// sitting on rooftops.// the feel of new shirts.// warm, summer nights.// making things for people.// old shoes from friends.// macaroni and cheese.// having great times of talk with God.// organic, antibiotic-free, preservative-free, artificial flavoring/color-free, no refined sugar or grain food. (just the way God intended.)// love.
things i listen to
currently:
death cab for cutie. feist. animal collective. modest mouse. owen. iron & wine. mother mother. eisley. her space holiday. school of seven bells. dear and the headlights. the weepies. arcade fire. the format.
and when my heart needs to beat
t-pain. rhianna. jay-z. kanye west. flo-rida. ne-yo. justin timberlake. (all hopefully edited.)
things i watch
when life slows for a moment.
the office. my boys. saturday night live. arrested development.
cinema light
that makes my heart glow
the royal tenenbaums. dedication. juno. stranger than fiction. hook. eternal sunshine. garden state. empire of the sun. caddyshack. ghostbusters. jurassic park. closer. iron giant. turner & hooch. an affair to remember. eagle vs. shark. lars and the real girl. pineapple express. the life aquatic. (500) days of summer. the hangover. up. and in all honesty, avatar in 3D was pretty amazing.
paper and ink
with feelings and thought
cars & trucks & things that go - richard scarry
little bear - maurice sendak
the giving tree - shel silverstein
the quietest cricket - eric carle
there is a monster at the end of this book - grover
crazylove - francis chan
awake - erwin raphael mcmanus
seizing your divine moment - erwin raphael mcmanus
the journey towards relevance - kary oberbrunner
no compromise - melody green
but you can't raise boys to be scared of life.
You got to brew some recklessness into them.
The Lord has always been the One who stirs hearts to give of their resources and primarily I am asking Him to stir up those who will financially sow as partners with His kingdom advancing in and through my life.
Please take time to prayerfully consider becoming a monthly financial partner, allowing the Lord to pour through you, as He is the Source of all provision.
One-time donations are very helpful. Relational monthly partners who want to share in what God is doing in and through my life will provide enabling to focus wholeheartedly on His Word and His ways.
If you want to use another method besides paypal to help donate, let me know.
Contributions made directly to me are "love contributions," and are NOT tax deductible.
the archives
click to read back through the years.
2009 (may and after - there's a weird glitch)
2009 (january-april)
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
"what do you do...
Thursday, December 11, 2008 @ 10:44 AM
when your life's a disaster, and you're moving faster, and it's getting harder to breathe?
what do you say to someone who's right, but you disagree even if it's the truth?"
did i make a mistake?
should i have stayed?
what am i supposed to do now?
these are the thoughts that plague my head at all hours of the day and more hours of the night.
the shine is officially off the apple.
i like my job. i really do. but i'm still only just barely scraping by in my opinion. i still haven't fully caught on, i'm forgetting important things, i don't understand some things still, and i just get ridiculously overwhelmed all the time. it's easy to bottle it all up at work but when i get home, the bottle breaks. then i'm just left with broken glass and a mess that looks impossible to clean up.
i still don't have enough money to pay rent this month. i get paid friday, which will cover this month, but i doubt it will cover next months. i'm sure you're asking yourself (and me) why this is? have i been spending too much money again? did i forget about rent? did i forget the responsibilities i have and have i regressed back into having a seriously fluid bank account?
no. and thanks for asking.
i've been paid once in the three weeks i've worked. which, makes sense since we're bi-weekly like i used to be. that paycheck was $120 or so. (it was from working a wed- 1/2 thurs-fri) taking out of it gas money from traveling during the holidays, and visiting my sister (ONCE since i've been here.), paying into my credit card, my monthly donation for my compassion international child (to which i still haven't even given a christmas gift to.), and then some necessities (yes, needs.) from target. i've still only got about $145 in my bank account.
so this paycheck should be larger, but not at full capacity yet. it'll be the mon-tues-wed for the week of thanksgiving, no paid holidays, then the week afterwards. which will only be at best a max of 60 hours, so a max of 600 before taxes. take out rent for next month, and my hilarious idea of trying to buy people christmas presents this year, i'm still screwed.
let me tell you why.
luckily, my office is run by a good, Christian man and his wife. i enjoy it, i do. granted the casting crowns constantly is getting irritating, so i need to make new mixes, but still. it's a great environment. but, downside, we're closed the whole week of christmas. (without pay, if you didn't get that.)
then the sun-wednesday (the 31st) after that, i'm going to the internation house of prayer for their free conference called ONEthing. so there's another week and a half that i'm not getting paid. which will make january undoubtedly awesome. my family has decided that we were going to do a small gift exchange, and that our family christmas gift to each other would really be the time we're all spending at ONEthing. (oh, did i forget to mention my whole family is going? yeah, i'm sure that's gonna maximize the fun. and the horror. and the arguing. and the annoying things.)
excuse my parenthesis. i noticed i'm using a lot of them. (sorry.) anyway, i even had a sit down with them saying that i don't think i can financially go to one thing, even if it's free, and that their gift to me is paying for my food and stuff while i'm there. that's great. i really do appreciate it. but that still knocks me out $320. OUCH. $240 for the three days i'm gone, then an extra $80 for being closed on new year's day.
all this, and i was planning on coming back to ames this weekend.
i won't be shy in saying i feel heartily forgotten. it's no ones fault but my own.
i'm not making any attempts to really get in touch with anyone outside of facebook.
but facebook is just a cheap imitation of real life, and real conversations.
i could call people, but i don't know what i'd talk about.
i just want to come home and watch movies with people, and go to the mall, and walk down the sidewalks, and sleep in my own bed.
so, i was planning on using some money to try and make my first trip home. it's supposed to snow on sunday though, which made me a little nervous. so snow + very little money + feeling forgotten + desperately wanting to go home + oh, yeah, did i tell you? my heat in my car broke last night = it's not gonna happen.
so much for making so much money i don't know what i'd do with it.
so much for trips once a month or more back home.
so much for amazing christmas presents now that i can finally afford it.
so much for a savings account.
so much for not being stressed out because of a better new job.
so much for anything resembling any happiness or a better situation.
so much for anything at all.
and i hate that i'm missing everything.
i've missed my connection group and the great christmas party that was last night.
i've missed the birth of my best friend's baby. something i've waited for forever.
i've missed spending time with my awesome roommate and our new cat. that i spent one day with before i left.
i've missed all the milestones my kids at work are hitting. gretty can apparently walk now. her birthday is tomorrow, so i'm going to try and call the center to see if i can "talk" to her for a few seconds. i'm missing my children grow up.
and what did i trade it all in for?
"making more money"? the sweet awesome lack of independence of living with my parents? having no friends, but at the same time no energy or time to devote to them if i had any?
asldkgha;slgkhaa.,cghow;riah.
seriously.
what was the point in all this?
i think i've made a big mistake.
and i'm stuck here for a year.
i'll just continue to fade away. 0 comments
read it back to me, pietro.
good reads or good websites.
Team Van Voorst - Paige updates her life as wife, mom, and general frugal lady!
LG & Brian Alsbury - LisaGrace writes about being a new wife, matters of the heart, budgets and goals, and general awesome things.
Changing Again - Insight to Danielle's crazy world.
The Alexanders - Jess and Mike moved to Japan. Here is their side of the world.
Simple Mom - A great website devoted to simplicity.
Remodeling This Life. - Simple. Frugal. Fabulous. (She did an AMAZING home remodel based soley on cash.)
Mint - The EASIEST, most-AMAZING, FREE way to build a budget.
design*sponge. - Creative and original design ideas.
Organizing Your Way. - A personalized approach to decluttering your life.
SmittenKitchen - Seriously some of the BEST recipes i've ever come across. SO awesome.
go, mordecai!
good buys.
rare bird finds. - a collection of unique items.
fredflare! - a shop full of fun and functionality.
[etsy] - if you want anything handmade or vintage, look here.
mighty goods. - an updated collection of fun things.
threadless. - tshirts designed by everyday people.
raygun. - formerly smash, this is an independant shop in des moines that specializes in awesome shirts.
wildcat. wild...cat.
other good websites.
questionable content. - my favorite webcomic by jeph jacques. (contains swearing and adult situations.)
postsecret. - updated every sunday, this blog contains secrets sent in by individuals all over the world.
cute overload. - bad day? stare at picture of cute things. it helps.
is that a tic-tac?
layout credit.
Design : everlastingroses!
Inspiration : indreamsmaybe
Image : swimchick