scrappin', yellin' & mixin' it up
words from 111 archer avenue.
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i always wanted to be a tenenbaum
you, know?
i am a twenty-three year old darling girl.
i am not married, i have no children, and i didn't graduate from college. but..
i draw birds and robots; i read books; i laugh till i cry; i love until my heart bursts; i sometimes paint my face or arms with stripes if i'm bored; i create; i play guitar. i am not impressive, but i am me.
i am addicted to Jesus Christ. He never stops loving, never stops giving, and there is always more of Him. He is the perfect addiction. no one else can satisfy.
These are all just mostly vague details. If you want me, come find me. But, I promise, at the very least, you'll think I'm nice.
things i like
(and i like a lot of things).
museums.// theme parks.// zoos.// aquariums.// road trips.// naps.// reading, and lots of reading. especially in unconventional places.// being silly.// going to goodwill to find hidden treasures.// traveling.// new things.// vintage things. record players, records, old cameras, old radios, vintage clothes, etc.// learning new things.// exploring new places.// building forts out of pillows and/or blankets.// getting mail.// finding new ways to stay organized.// old books that smell like yummy old books.// the smell of colored pencils, and crayons.// the internet, for without it, i might not have some very great friends that i love so dearly.// squirrels.// musicals.// live plays.// daisies, and trees.// thai food.// laughing.// socks.// people you meet that are so amazing they make you strive for greatness, not in competition, but just out of the pure fact that you've seen potential, and was found to be wasting yours.// living a simple life.// holding hands.// the rare moments in life where i don't feel self conscious.// watching home videos.// hideabeds.// thrift stores the size of target.// target for that matter.// poking people in the nose and saying "beep" at the same time.// candles and lanterns and kerosene lamps.// cupcakes.// showers, washing my hands, and brushing my teeth.// sitting on rooftops.// the feel of new shirts.// warm, summer nights.// making things for people.// old shoes from friends.// macaroni and cheese.// having great times of talk with God.// organic, antibiotic-free, preservative-free, artificial flavoring/color-free, no refined sugar or grain food. (just the way God intended.)// love.
things i listen to
currently:
death cab for cutie. feist. animal collective. modest mouse. owen. iron & wine. mother mother. eisley. her space holiday. school of seven bells. dear and the headlights. the weepies. arcade fire. the format.
and when my heart needs to beat
t-pain. rhianna. jay-z. kanye west. flo-rida. ne-yo. justin timberlake. (all hopefully edited.)
things i watch
when life slows for a moment.
the office. my boys. saturday night live. arrested development.
cinema light
that makes my heart glow
the royal tenenbaums. dedication. juno. stranger than fiction. hook. eternal sunshine. garden state. empire of the sun. caddyshack. ghostbusters. jurassic park. closer. iron giant. turner & hooch. an affair to remember. eagle vs. shark. lars and the real girl. pineapple express. the life aquatic. (500) days of summer. the hangover. up. and in all honesty, avatar in 3D was pretty amazing.
paper and ink
with feelings and thought
cars & trucks & things that go - richard scarry
little bear - maurice sendak
the giving tree - shel silverstein
the quietest cricket - eric carle
there is a monster at the end of this book - grover
crazylove - francis chan
awake - erwin raphael mcmanus
seizing your divine moment - erwin raphael mcmanus
the journey towards relevance - kary oberbrunner
no compromise - melody green
but you can't raise boys to be scared of life.
You got to brew some recklessness into them.
The Lord has always been the One who stirs hearts to give of their resources and primarily I am asking Him to stir up those who will financially sow as partners with His kingdom advancing in and through my life.
Please take time to prayerfully consider becoming a monthly financial partner, allowing the Lord to pour through you, as He is the Source of all provision.
One-time donations are very helpful. Relational monthly partners who want to share in what God is doing in and through my life will provide enabling to focus wholeheartedly on His Word and His ways.
If you want to use another method besides paypal to help donate, let me know.
Contributions made directly to me are "love contributions," and are NOT tax deductible.
the archives
click to read back through the years.
2009 (may and after - there's a weird glitch)
2009 (january-april)
2008
2007
2006
2005
2004
the NOT ME EVER! blog.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009 @ 7:48 PM
there is a fancy "blog carnival" as shaina calls it, going down on the internet.
it's called "not me monday" and it was started by someone else, but pretty much the premise is to list things you did on monday that you wouldn't normally admit to, so you negatively admit to them instead. like "i did NOT eat an entire box of cap'n crunch for breakfast. i did NOT text people all day at work. i also did NOT write a string of blogs while going to the bathroom." (guess which is true.)
so, i'm going to start a whole new edition of that that's just called the "NOT ME EVER! blog".
let's get things rollin:
-i am NOT dating a previous ex-boyfriend, because i learn from all of my lessons. and i also don't date people twice without good reason.
-i am also NOT going back and forth between whether dating him (because i'm NOT) is a good idea because it seems an awful lot like dating an imaginary person.
-i also do NOT owe the goverment and the state $250 in taxes because i did NOT file myself as a "1" last year. i also did NOT proceed to bawl like a sad sack for the next two hours.
-because i was NOT sad, i also made proper food choices and didN'T drown my sorrows in reese's peanut butter cups.
-i also didN'T seriously think about quitting my job a million times today because of how insane it was. i enjoy my job and wouldN'T think about doing such a thing in todays rough times.
-i also do NOT owe capital one $700 +-. i pay my credit card off every time and make sure that i make all the payments.
...i'm sure you're all getting the idea of this.
so here's how yesterday played out.
"oh hum dee dum.. let's check my hotmail. oh! my capital one statement is here. i better pay that off before i forget about it. **few moments later** .... what? the minimum payment is $71 now?! and i'm OVER my credit limit? how the hell? i .. i missed a payment? i never miss payments. frick. frick frick frick. okay. well, i'll pay that now, and then i'll just do my taxes tonight and take care of it and in a few days i'll have enough back from my return that i'll be done with this beast. ...i won't be able to buy a computer, but that's okay. i really just want to lost my credit card debt. **TWO HOURS LATER** i OWE $250? how is this possible?? *sob sob* [to dad] i don't know what last years return was! no, you didn't help me. YOU were too busy watching football you didn't want to help me. ... well how was i supposed to know you print all that crap off. I NEVER KNEW WHAT I WAS DOINGggggggg! *sob sob sob cries cries sob sob* ..."
it carries on like that for a few hours. seriously. i haven't cried that much in a long, long time. my glasses had salt crystals dried in them. it was kind of gross.
but anyway.
then i was talking to maika over adium (oh, the internet. where all bad relationship choices are made) and we were kind of discussing what we were, etc, etc. and it was all coming down to the fact that we wanted to try again, we will try for things to be different, so what are we waiting for as far as titles go. and he asks me "well.. if someone else asked you out, would you say yes?" ... "well.. i don't know. i mean, i don't think so. but i'd hope if someone better asked you out, that you'd accept."
so then we got into a long discussion about how i refuse to "date" him anymore since he still lives in portland. and that it seems too much like i'm imaginary dating him. and that he needs to get his stuff together before we start dating again. and i don't know. i'm still confused by it all. so facebook says we're dating, but i'm not super sure that's entirely the case. i need him to prove to me that he can get things straightened out financially, spiritually, everythingelse-ly. and we're almost dead on for two years of the last time we started dating. and nothing much has changed. 'cept that he's in worse shape than he was before more or less.
but it would be nice to try things again. but all at the same time, i'm not going to pretend date him when things aren't different. then we get into another bout of "who are we kidding" and then i break us up. again. i'd rather not do that. but i don't know.
i plan on praying much this weekend and fasting tomorrow.
it's all just confusing.
asdl;gkhasdo;gihasldgkhasdg.haweoighawlegkahsdogihawelakghsodigh!
i mean. ..... argh! i don't even know what i mean.
it's like we're set up to fail. if things were different, and i mean ENTIRELY different, we might have a chance at this. and we might succeed. and everything would fall into place. but things are all messed up and not right and out of order and what do you do with that, you know?
make it work regardless of how screwed up everything is?
"try extra hard"?
say "screw it", date anyway, and hopefully break even in the end?
i have no idea what to do.
our lives are God's anyway. so i should probably double check what he thinks first.
i do request so much prayer.
so, please.
if praying is your thing, please, please, please pray for me.
i need more wisdom than ever.
all my love to you, blogland.
<3 Jeska. 0 comments
read it back to me, pietro.
good reads or good websites.
Team Van Voorst - Paige updates her life as wife, mom, and general frugal lady!
LG & Brian Alsbury - LisaGrace writes about being a new wife, matters of the heart, budgets and goals, and general awesome things.
Changing Again - Insight to Danielle's crazy world.
The Alexanders - Jess and Mike moved to Japan. Here is their side of the world.
Simple Mom - A great website devoted to simplicity.
Remodeling This Life. - Simple. Frugal. Fabulous. (She did an AMAZING home remodel based soley on cash.)
Mint - The EASIEST, most-AMAZING, FREE way to build a budget.
design*sponge. - Creative and original design ideas.
Organizing Your Way. - A personalized approach to decluttering your life.
SmittenKitchen - Seriously some of the BEST recipes i've ever come across. SO awesome.
go, mordecai!
good buys.
rare bird finds. - a collection of unique items.
fredflare! - a shop full of fun and functionality.
[etsy] - if you want anything handmade or vintage, look here.
mighty goods. - an updated collection of fun things.
threadless. - tshirts designed by everyday people.
raygun. - formerly smash, this is an independant shop in des moines that specializes in awesome shirts.
wildcat. wild...cat.
other good websites.
questionable content. - my favorite webcomic by jeph jacques. (contains swearing and adult situations.)
postsecret. - updated every sunday, this blog contains secrets sent in by individuals all over the world.
cute overload. - bad day? stare at picture of cute things. it helps.
is that a tic-tac?
layout credit.
Design : everlastingroses!
Inspiration : indreamsmaybe
Image : swimchick